The Longest RideNo need for spoiler-alert, you all know how this movie ends.

It has been a while since I’ve sat down with the purest intention to destroy a movie. It’s not that I want to be mean it’s just the matter of balance and after a while, when you have praised so many things, you just have to give yourself the opportunity to be negative. This is probably the reason why I watched The Longest Ride in the first place, to hate it and since it wasn’t hard to see through all those clichés, I really did end up hating it.

Nicholas Sparks is the godfather of romantic clichés and women eat it up like chocolate! I don’t know how he managed to stumble on such a goldmine but I have to give him credit, his writing it at least better than E.L. James with her series of horror books. Either way, Sparks has been writing and writing and everything he writes ends up as a movie. And I don’t necessarily hate his writing nor movies, there was A Walk to Remember which I love to this day, and well there’s the infamous Notebook to be considered. The problem is not his past work, it’s what follows his success and how he is able to milk the same stupid story over and over again. We get it, people fall in love and end up together and somebody always dies, fine, now show me something I haven’t seen!

The Longest Ride is about a couple, who meet right before Sophia (Britt Roberston) is about to leave town and Luke (Scott Eastwood) who is a bull rider with a death wish. It’s tragic and then it’s not, but I guess you would know what happens in the end even if I didn’t tell you. Anyway, they save an old man from a car crash, the car of course explodes!, but not before Sophia is able to pull out the old man’s box of letters. Enter the flashback movie intertwined with the present time movie and we have ourselves a budget Notebook – shorter, less intriguing and both are dead by the end credits. The sad thing is, I actually ended up liking the past-movie more than the present one because god forbid, is Britt Robertson ever going to have chemistry with her costar or what?

For some reason I’ve never really liked Robertson but in The Longest Ride she became even more annoying. Maybe it was Scott Eastwood and his lack of appeal that emphasized this discomfort in me but I did not like their combined performance at all. It was the past-performance that caught my eye, where Jack Huston and Oona Chaplin whose portrayal of Ira and Ruth was devastatingly beautiful. Their struggles were actually interesting and I would have loved to have seen more of their story which was probably why I was even more frustrated about the present-affair.

Bottom line, I’m tired of Sparks and his unstoppable ability to milk the same story over and over again. I’m also a little bit shocked that I’m not able to see the appeal of Scott Eastwood – I mean, I think he could be attractive from some angles but for The Longest Ride to work for me, I needed some steam! Or at least some sizzling which would probably have made me a little less grumpy about the movie. Yes, that’s it, I’ve discovered the main reason The Longest Ride felt like the longest movie – no sex appeal! And call me shallow, but if I’m going to watch a romantic movie, at least give me some hot stuff on a stick so I could enjoy the damn ride!


  • There’s nothing wrong with hate watching! Sparks’ empire baffles me as well. I admit, I like The Notebook, sappy as it is, but to keep doing the same thing every time? You’re right. Spoiler alerts are not necessary because we know exactly where everything is going. It’s a sham Chaplin and Huston ended up in this. They’re talented.

    • I didn’t hate the Notebook.. it was rather watchable in terms of acting and the chemistry was bang on. Unlike all the other Sparks movies. A Walk to Remember is probably my favorite though. It’s such a heartfelt book as well.. if I remember correctly, it’s about his sister..

  • I love a good take down film review…depending on the mood I’m in. I also love “hate watching” some movies. This flick definitely seems worthy of hate watching. I wish hollywood would stop making Nicolas Spark movies. They’re truly terrible. I didn’t think the Notebook was all that, but it was watchable. I can’t say the same for his recent book/films.

    Thanks for your comment on the “how I work” blogathon. I would love to see your post! I’ve had a few people who want to join in so I will make it an ongoing blogathon.

  • “…the purest intention to destroy a movie” Ahah, and you chose a good one too!

    UGH! Sounds as bad as I thought it’d be! I dodged the bullet on this one then. As much as I like a romantic story as any woman, I can’t stand the schmaltzy-ness of Sparks’ work. It just gives romance a bad name y’know. FYI, Scott wasn’t appealing in person either, I could tell all the women in the room kinda drooling over him but I’d rather talk to Jack Huston any day. It’s a pity he’s in this movie actually, and I might actually watch this if it’s on Netflix JUST the scenes w/ Huston as I think he’s an underrated actor.

    I also can’t stand the fact that Scott is shirtless like the entire movie judging from the trailer. It’s as if women are so easily swayed by a hot body and we don’t care about the rest. Heh, I’d take Stanley Weber reading a book in thick wool sweater and turtleneck over ALL of those greasy guys in Magic Mike!!

    • I found Huston to be hotter in this as well.. maybe the way he held himself felt a lot more manlier. But I mean.. I’ve steered far away from the muscle-mountain men.. except for Chris.. and when I say Chris, I mean most of them.. except Hemsworth.. his the only muscle-Chris I don’t find that attractive.

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