Images from Tumblr.
Since my last Commercial Break I’ve gone through a huge emotional roller coaster and it hasn’t been nice. Though now that I’ve enjoyed my vacation for almost a week I feel like things are slowly getting better but I’m still an emotional wreck. Nothing seems to be helping either, books, movies, shows, not to mention, writing. But I’m hanging in there, trying to be strong and not think negative thoughts, especially considering what this week is going to be like for me.
(If you don’t want to read my long rant about my never ending battle with my thyroid gland, skip this section.)
In July 6th, it will be the anniversary of my swollen eyes, they will be a year old and since then, I haven’t had a day when my eyes have seemed some what normal. On July 7th, I will get my thyroid gland surgically removed. Most of you know that I have been waiting for this since the end of March but the news of my surgery has been an up and down battle. The week before the last I was already discussing an alternative plan of action with my doctor. Health insurance laws were putting my operation on hold and I couldn’t do anything about it. So obviously my stress (and tiredness) had gotten to a point where, upon hearing the news of a possible treatment that would take about 6 months to be effective, I burst out crying. Another 6 months to a year long battle – I was not ready for it. It was in that moment where I realised I had hit my breaking point. I felt exhausted mentally and physically – mostly because of the side effects of my illness but partially because I had been stressed about my health for so long. Not to mention the stress at work. I hit rock bottom, and even my upcoming vacation didn’t seem to lift my spirits.
Now, you would assume the confirmation of my surgery I heard about last Thursday would make me happy but, you would assume wrong. While I was waiting, for more than 3 months, I didn’t really want to research anything just yet. Maybe deep down I knew I was going to have to wait for a very long time and I didn’t want any additional knowledge of the surgery to raise my stress levels. And no, I’m not worried of the surgery itself, I’m pretty okay with them cutting into my neck while I have a breathing tube down my throat because I’ll be hopefully dreaming about something wonderful. It’s the life I will have after the surgery that worries me now. Having your thyroid removed means pills for life but getting your medication right is what frightens me the most. It may take months for everything to feel normal again, it may take longer than that, it may take almost a year, and while my body is getting used to the idea of not having a very important organ, my body will go through additional changes. Weight gain being the most common among patience who get their thyroid removed, but also tiredness, depression and mood swings. This doesn’t sound good but I’m not willing to be another statistic to the never ending list of negative experiences after having one’s thyroid removed. There are not many positive ones out there as far as I have read so I’m hoping to be an exception to the rule.
So, long story short, I’ve spent days researching the Internet for answers and I’ve come up with a few possible solutions for my upcoming problems. Specific diet, exercise and getting the medication right, especially having the right amount of right hormones in my body to maintain a steady and healthy metabolism. Most of the stories I’ve read online seem to indicate that doctors aren’t testing the right things but I already know my doctor tests me regularly in regards to all these indicators. That being said, I can already tell this won’t be an easy transition and it worries me but I’m trying to keep my head above the clouds and thinking positive thoughts regardless of my fears.
I know that there are people out there, maybe some of you are even reading this right now, that have health issues that are much worse than mine has ever been and will ever be. But we all have our battles, and no matter the battle, we all need support and help sometimes. So thank you everyone, who has wished me well this past year! Your support (even when it’s a tiny comment of wishing me well) has meant a lot and I’m very thankful for you all!
Jumping right back into the swing of things, let’s discuss most of June in terms of movies because I’ve sat through some horrible ones and only one good movie these past few weeks. Last time I mentioned I was going to see Once Upon a Time in Venice and it was bad. My flatmate called it funny John Wick with Bruce Willis but it was nothing like that. Just a waste of time really.
Same can be said about Baywatch. What a disaster. I’ll admit, I laughed at first, and it was all thanks to Jon Bass who played Ronnie. He was so good in his opening scene, I wish the entire movie focused on him instead trying to be so much more than it needed to be. I would have been fine with the entire movie being about the recruiting process!
After the two let downs I wasn’t surprised that The Mummy turned out to be a little better but just as bad. At least, compared to the horrific CGI in Baywatch, The Mummy looked visually stunning! I loved Sofia Boutella, she looked beautiful, even when her face was falling off. But like everything else I keep watching, the ideas are there but the story was lacking and the end twist felt a little underwhelming. Stick with Mission Impossible, Tom, those movies are tons better!
Lastly, I watched, because my curiosity got the better of me, Power Rangers. Oh my. I honestly have no idea what those big names like Bryan Cranston and Elizabeth Banks were doing there. Not only was the time line all messed up, 11 days to become friends, team members and power rangers?!, but the soundtrack felt so strange. The final battle featured Kanye West’s Power and it was like watching a badly made music video – not good at all.
You would think that with so many bad movies in a row one could almost give up but I didn’t! I went to see Baby Driver last night and thank god, it was great! I’m one of those people who hasn’t seen most of Edgar Wright’s movies but the one I’ve seen (Scott Pilgrim), I didn’t much care for, so I was surprised by Baby Driver in the best way possible. But Ansel Elgort, boy, I just don’t like his face, even if that face suits his character because I saw THIS! Trust me, you have no idea how much I regretted watching that music video the day I went to see Baby Driver – so so so much regret.
Last week I saw the trailer for Breathe and I lost it.. emotionally. It might have been my own state of mind that day but it sure looks like an emotional movie regardless. Plus, I have to admit, Andrew Garfield is really good with accents. The movie is based on real life and Robin Cavendish, played by Garfield, lived to be 64. His son is actually a movie producer and pushed this movie to be made to honor his father and the work he did for disabled people.
The trailer for The Greatest Showman also premiered last week and it was alright. I didn’t really care for the song they chose to accompany the trailer and the topic of the movie is already stirring up controversy. But it has Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron so I’m probably going to see it.
So much to tell you in regards to shows as well! I finished watching Baby Daddy… it’s officially over for me and I’m quite sad about it. It was one of my favourites, and I mentioned it a few times here and there, but now it’s gone and I’m still sad. It ended well though, it had a nice character development arc for our main character but part of me wishes we would have had like a future episode with everyone old and Emma getting married or something. That would have been amazing. Maybe a small TV movie, you’ll never know.
Twin Peaks has been on my radar ever since the news of its revival hit the Internet and I’ve just now finished the first season. Oh wow. It was crazy. And weird. Going in I didn’t really know anything about it, I had seen the first episode about two times and thought the entire show was like a crime show but I was so wrong. The dream sequences in the first season made it all so much more unreal than I thought it to be. I’m slowly starting season 2 as well but that one is 22 episodes so it’s going to take me some time before I get to the newest season.
Few summer shows that are on my radar are Stitchers and The Night Shift. I’m on track with Stitchers but I’m very very behind with The Night Shift because I had forgotten about it. Completely gone from my brain, despite the fact that I find the leading man quite handsome and he looks very much like Michiel Huisman to me. I’m also still watching Nashville despite the exit of its leading lady. The show is all over the place at the moment and I’m desperately hoping it will find its focus soon. So many important topics and yet, they only skim the surface, which in some cases is not a good idea at all. I wish a few supportive characters got a bit more screen time, and I’m a bit mad how they are treating Hayden Panettiere’s character. Oh and I’m still watching Shadowhunters and I have no idea why.
BOOKS & MUSIC
Images from my bookstagram account, Fangirls Hideout.
My June reading wrap up is going up tomorrow and it’s a short one. I had one of the slowest reading months this year but I’m not sad about it. I also decided to pick up my first Stephen King’s novel It. Partly because it’s huge and I wanted the challenge, and partly because it will get a screen adaption this year and I wanted to be ready for it. After It, I will try to finish The Mortal Instruments series this month as well and maybe a Brandon Sanderson book if I have time.
For music I have been all over the place but I have listened to Niall Horan’s Slow Hands non stop for days. I don’t know what is it with me and most of the One Direction boys but I like them.. except Liam and Louis, their music doesn’t appeal to me at all. And yes, I know all their names, I’m that person. Don’t judge me! Also received a lovely present from my flatmate which is the deluxe version of Harry Styles’ debut album. I love it a lot.
The Mummy review by Two Dollar Cinema
Rambling Film hated Beauty and the Beast
Film Flare recommend three medical drama shows
Alien: Covenant gets reviewed by Cinematic Corner
Often Off Topic discusses Baywatch0
I love the 1D boys more than anyone. And will fight anyone who says I shouldn’t. Go you!!!
And I hope the surgery goes smooth and you have a quick recovery. <3
Omg, look who it is!! My former fellow Estonian movie blogger! 😀
And thank god there are others out there who like them, I’m probably the oldest fan around but still.
Thank you for stopping by! 🙂
Best of luck with your operation and everything else that follows. I have had some medical shit this year too and I know how totally terrible it is. It’s great you have good doctors and determination to beat the side effects. I’m rooting for you! You can do it!!
It’s the worst, especially when the system is slow and you are just waiting for it for months, knowing it’s inevitable, but nothing is happening. Best of wishes for you and stay strong through your medical difficulties as well! 🙂
I was just watching Alec Baldwin on Jimmy Fallon and he has a severe eye infection, so I guess only cool people get them 😚 Best of luck with your surgery and the recovery, I know you can fight this. Sending you ALL THE LOVE, I’m here for whatever you need 🤗
Scott Lynch, another one for my huge TBR! Hmm I didn’t care for The Greatest Showman trailer song either, but it’s a musical with Jackman and Efron and that’s really all I ever needed in my life. So happy you’re enjoying Twin Peaks!! Catch up as soon as you can so we can fangirl over the new season, please. How cute is Cooper?!!!
Aww, that was like the best compliment ever, thank you!
I will try to catch up with Twin Peaks but I need a bit of a break because it’s very heavy. So I’m watching The Night Shift now, great choice for someone who is going to go for an operation, visually I mean. 😀
And thank you again for the wishes!
I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been feeling so down lately. I have no idea what you’re going through but if blogging about it helps then keep at it! It really does sound like you’re trying to see the positives, and your upcoming surgery is the next step in this long recovery. I’ll be thinking about you later this week, I hope it all goes well!
On a movie note, oh MAN I’m starting to feel like the only person who hasn’t seen Baby Driver yet, I can’t wait!
Thanks for the link <3
Thank you so much! I’m positive things will go well and I will try to keep my thoughts positive as well. 🙂
Oh you should watch Baby Driver in the theater because it’s worth that extra money! 😉
I read “It” this year too. It took me nearly 3 weeks but I made it through. It was mostly really good, King tends to have a lot of junk chapters but the story itself was great, though I’m not a fan of a big part of how the kid’s story ended. You’ll know it when you read it. It’s weird AF.
I hope your surgery goes well and that you find medication that will work for you right away! Thyroid issues are a bitch. I’m on thyroid pills too, and I will be for the rest of my life. It’s annoying.
Thanks for the link!
I’m sure everything is going to go well, I know it’s so stressful but it’s only making everything worse so you gotta stay positive and distract yourself from it as much as you can.
Thanks for the link! Wow Baywatch and the Mummy huh? I don’t think I’ll see those though Baywatch sounds like something so bad that it’s actually funny. I wonder if I’ll like Baby Driver since I really disliked Scott Pilgrim. That Ansel kid is just such a lady boner killer but Hamm is there so maybe they will cancel each other out or something
Thank you for the support!
Indeed. I also have seen now The House as well so I’ve seen A LOT of bad movies this year. It’s sort of … comforting. Makes it a lot easier to make a Top 10 worst movies of 2017 next year. And Ansel wasn’t half bad, but he also wore sunglasses a lot so he looked somewhat decent. I don’t like him AT all though. Such a bad casting choice in my opinion.
It sounds like you’re keeping your spirits up as much as possible, and that will surely go a long way in your recovery. I’ll be sending you positive thoughts and vibes, and I’d really like to send you an egift card to help while you’re recovering afterward, as a sort-of care package. Is your email still the same on your about page? And, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me. <3 😀
Aww, that is so so sweet!!! Yes, mu email is still the same.