Well, hello there! It’s been a while, a whole six months worth of absence here on Mettel Ray and I’m… alright. I’d be lying if I’d say I didn’t miss blogging though. Part of me has always thought about returning but then what would I say? What would I even write about… because I’m not the same blogger anymore. I haven’t been for a while.
Back in 2010 when I started this blog I was so lost. I still am but with more to do, more bills to pay, more things to experience. Over the years I saw new blogs appear, blogs disappear but meanwhile I fond my footing. Bloggers grew and bloggers withered as it is a normal progression to life. Though I thought I’d never be the blogger who just stops blogging – it still happened.
Keep in mind that I never stopped writing! Working in online media means I write daily for work. I’m still constantly aware of most movie/TV-show news and the celebrity drama. It has been a part of my life every day for the past three years. And even though there are days I want to pull my hair out, I love it! Writing is something that I love and I’m very certain of it. But I have my bad days.
From A to B
When the C happened… you know, the thing that basically destroyed social life around the world really changed me. Covering it and living in it and basically digesting death daily was when I started to dislike writing. I disliked it to a point where I broke down and shut off. To this day I think that this was eventually what set me off to a whole new different path. The realisation that my work was making me depressed because I had nothing else. My hobbies and everything I loved prior was mushed into my work, intertwined to a point that I couldn’t tell a difference.
As some of you probably know that break down hit hard and less than 6 months later I dove head first into the world of K-pop! Since then I’ve consumed a lot of Korean dramas as well as Chinese, Japanese and Taiwanese shows. If you’d told me two years ago that I’d fall in love with K-dramas I’d all you crazy but here we are. Part of the reason I love it all so much is the nostalgia for 90’s romcoms that seems to live on in Korean dramas. Another is that it’s so far from my work that it feels like an escape.
Which brings me to Mettel Ray. Since my interests have changed I’ve felt stuck. I’ve published some things here and there but it felt like I was boring my old readers. Which is completely understandable because for some it might feel like a complete 180 from what the old content used to be. There’s a certain audience for K-dramas and well… that audience is not here. Bu I don’t want to live based on what others think. I just want to record my life and my love for everything around me. It is mostly K-pop and K-dramas at the moment but maybe it changes again in the future.
So while I’m not the same blogger anymore I know that deep down I’m still a blogger. I love it! And so while this feels like an end of an era… it’s also a start of a brand new journey. The old me is definitely not 100% gone but I’ve developed a lot of new interests that means I’m even more colourful now than before.
As I’m writing this I have no concrete plans or rules for my future posts. I know it’s going to be a mix and match of music, shows and movies. I just want to blog again!3