mindy-kaling-cover-ftrDear Mindy Kaling,

I adore you!

If I had any courage, I would say I love you because that’s how I feel but in a best girlfriend kind of way and not in a sexual way. Though you look hot girl, there’s no denying of that and if I were to swing with ladies, you’d be in my bucket list for sure. Then again, I’d most likely never meet you in person or have my way with you but that’s okay, I’d have a large human sized cardboard cutout in my room and we’d have candlelit dinners every night. Until you’re caught on fire and I have to throw wine on you which makes you mad and we have a huge fight, break up and I’ll always tell people you were the one that got away.

This letter, which will most likely never find you because you write, produce and act in your own show, while looking fabulous, probably takes up most of your time. And that’s alright because deep down, that’s how I wish my life would turn out. Sure, I have no apparent comedy writing skills, nor can I act and I’m sure as hell not capable to produce something (I’m not even 100% certain what producing specifically requires) but I want to be like you!

To me, you had the perfect goal in life which was to be dressed and beautified by professionals! Also, the fact that your parents raised you not to complain or take work for granted, seems to be the kind of work ethic I want to establish in my life – as difficult as it might seem. Frankly, before reading your book, I figured you just got lucky like so many people in Hollywood nowadays seem to get but now I know you worked hard to get where you are. That to me is inspiring!

Oh, your book, I have to bring it up once more because I absolutely adored it! (Again I seem to be too shy to use the word love). There was a connection I felt because you came across as somebody who loved pop-culture and made it look smart which is something I can never seem to do when I mention semi-casually that I share a birthday with Darren Aronofsky AND Christina Ricci. People just look at me sideways like they feel sorry for me knowing facts that won’t come in handy in any social situation – not even in a Black Swan themed costume party!

Another moment of utter affection was sprung upon me when you admitted you loved making lists because I love it too! I’m completely shit at it but man, do I love it. Once, I made the perfect grocery list filled with, not only mandatory snack foods, but also healthy ingredients that balanced out the bad just about. Sadly I left it at home when I went to the store which resulted in me frantically running between isles trying to remember which kind of healthy stuff I was supposed to buy. I ended up leaving the store with a pile of junk food and a bottle of water.

But this letter is not about me, it is about me adoring you! And though there are many reasons, some already highlighted in this highly emotional letter, there’s one that always tops everything else: your confidence! After reading your book, and after watching your show and after just adoring you 24/7, I realized that you are confident because you choose to be. It’s not about what others think about you because it’s hard to think anything bad while you feel badass in that colorfully awesome dress!

I just hope one day I’ll be able to rock fuchsia pink the way you do and result to humor during the right moments while using cultural references people would get and enjoy! Though I know I won’t be as amazing as you in that colorful dress, because I’m pale as a ghost and only look good in black, but everything else, I’m sure I’ll be able to master.

Yours truly,

Mettel Ray



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